Breaking Point

Yesterday I hit my breaking point. After trying to be supermom and always telling everyone that I’m doing great when I’m really struggling to hold it all together I finally cracked and had a meltdown, at work, in front of my boss. And as embarrassing and unprofessional as it may have seemed I’m thankful to have a caring and understanding boss. I’m glad I was able to communicate it to not only her but to a handful of close friends and admit that I am overwhelmed and that being a “single mom” is really hard and an even bigger adjustment now with two kids.

Yesterday I took Enzo to the Doctor over my lunch hour because his belly button was still oozing and found out he has an Umbilical Granuloma

Of course they weigh him at every visit and I wasn't expecting much of a change from his weight of 12lbs, 12oz last Tuesday but our little chunker is now 13lbs 7oz!!

While at the office the Doctor also noticed that he is still congested so they gave him a nebulizer breathing treatment with albuterol. He wants him doing the breathing treatments 2-3 times a day until he can be re-evaluated at our appointment next week when he gets his 2 month shots. Last night a home health nurse brought a home nebulizer to the house and showed me how to use it and stressed the importance of cleaning it.

I started out yesterday morning sleep deprived then after going to the Doctor for a belly button issue and coming out of the office with breathing treatments and a home nebulizer I just couldn’t contain my emotions any longer.

I realize that I need time for myself and even though I’m a parent, I’m still a person. It is easy to succumb to the roles and responsibilities as a parent and lose yourself within it. It’s really hard to step away sometimes and admit you need a break without feeling guilty about it. It’s also hard for me to not get upset with Brian that I’m doing this all by myself but he is very supportive and I know he’s making sacrifices as well. Thankfully my Dad is coming back tomorrow and will be staying indefinitely to help me out. I’m BEYOND thankful for him!

Lots of times lately I find myself going to bed asking myself “Did I do anything today to make it a fun day for Addison” I feel so lost in the daily routines, work, schedules, Dr.’s appointments and trying to raise a toddler with manners and respect that I feel like Miss Hannigan when I hope that Addison sees me more like the fun and loving Mom I’m striving to be.

Two parenting quotes I found to best sum up this blog post…

There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings.
~ Hodding Carter

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.
~ Ed Asner